Returning is as easy as 1-2-3...

Just checked if they still list my non-existing classes on Zumba website. Yes, they still are there. Can I delete them? The answer is still “nope”.

I’m logging in. (Yes I still can do it, I guess till the end of June.) That’s what I see:

Dear Instructor,

We are sorry that you have decided to cancel your membership and we miss you! We would love for you to come back as we have added new features and benefits. Remember, you have 1 year from your date of cancellation to rejoin ZIN™. To avoid losing your Zumba license when you Training expires, be sure to re-join.

Returning is as easy as 1-2-3...

Step 1: pay a $175.00 reinstatement fee

Step 2: rejoin ZIN and come back to the party

Step 3: take an easy, 45 minutes online refresher

Easy-peasy. Wait a minute. Not that I wanted to rejoin. But it’s the first time I read about the reinstatement fee. It definitely was not mentioned in that parting email from Zumba when I cancelled my membership:

Zumba Fitness is sad to see you leave ZIN. Remember that you can reactivate your membership instantly within the next 12 months – or anytime after that by taking another Basic Training.

So, dear ex-colleagues, if you think of taking a break, keep this in mind.

The show must go on

My, the new Zumba website is a mess.

I told them I quit. They know that too. Yet my official profile still lists my classes as if nothing happened. I know, I should have removed them myself last week, but I forgot. Let’s do it now.

I’m logging in. That’s what I see:

Dear Instructor,

We are sorry that you have decided to cancel your membership and we miss you! We would love for you to come back as we have added new features and benefits. Remember, you have 1 year from your date of cancellation to rejoin ZIN™. To avoid losing your Zumba license when you Training expires, be sure to re-join.

To re-join ZIN™, just click on the link below.

No, I really just came here to remove my classes.

What? It doesn’t look like I have the ability to do it. Let’s check what My Announcements say.

MY ANNOUNCEMENTS

We have good news!

As you know, your license to teach has now expired.

So what is the good news?

You can reinstate your license by taking another Basic 1 Instructor Training course, or simply by re-joining ZIN. You are now within your grace period to re-join ZIN and avoid starting over the complete Zumba instructor process.

To re-join ZIN using a credit/debit card just Click Here.

If you do not have a credit/debit card, please contact us and we will be glad to help you.

OK, that was not helpful.

Writing a letter to Support. Whoever created that interface, should be banned from web design forever.

Hello,

Last month, I cancelled my ZIN membership. Therefore, starting July 1st, I do not expect any classes to be listed on my profile. I do not want people to get misleading information. However, when I go to my website, I still can see the classes listed. When I log in to my Zumba account, I seem not to be able to edit the "classes" section any longer, so there is no way for me to remove them from the web. How can I do that?

Best regards,

Kirill

This morning, I got the response. I keep the spelling intact.

Dear Kirill,

Thank you for contacting Zumba Fitness. We are sorry that you left our ZIN family.

We are happy to assist you. Unfortunately you neither us cannot make changes to your website from our systems ones you cancel your ZIN membership. Please have in mind, that your name does not appear anymore under "Find an instructor", so it will be more difficult for people to enter your website. We apologize for any inconvenience this may be causing.

If you have any further questions, don't hesitate to contact us.

Yes I have one more question. Have you heard of search engines?

Anyway, it seems that the only way to correct it is to re-join ZIN, which I have no intention to do yet.

On my good days, I tend to think that humankind is not intrinsically evil. Just dumb.

ZIN 45th and the last

In case you forgot how Beto and Gina look like (a helpful hint: you saw them last time), they are back. And what they do is not getting any better. You can imagine how glad I am that this is the last ZIN volume I’ve suffered.

The audio track (I refuse to call it music) is awful. The choreo is... matching. With the singular exception of Violint, which at least is funny at times. As for Beto: it must be not that comfortable to dance with a hoody around his waist. Even if it were, it does not look nice.

ZIN 45 Song List

1. DJ Dale Play — Electro-Latin — by Mara
2. Violint — Oriental-Latin Fusion ◊
3. Tu Sabes que te Amo — Salsaton * ☙
4. Bailando por Ahí — Merengue Electrónico * ☙
5. La Escalera — Electrolatin — by Natalia Betancurt feat. Estefano ☙
6. Tacatá — Electrodance * ☙
7. I Came Here to Party — Dance ◊
8. Bom Bom Bom — Brazilian Funk ◊
9. Marioneta — Cumbia ◊

* Covers
◊ Zumba Fitness originals
☙ Spicy Lyrics

You will be missed

Dear friends,

Today I did something that I was thinking of doing (but kept postponing) for the last six months. I cancelled my ZIN membership.

The new Zumba website is not the easiest one to navigate. But this is how it’s done:

1. Log in with your instructor Username and Password at zumba.com.
2. Click on the “My ZIN Account” link of your ZIN Menu.
3. Select “To cancel your account, click here” link, located in the Payment Information section of the My Account Summary page.

It is rather straightforward. There are four steps to complete. During each of them, there is a possibility to cancel the whole process. Obviously, ZIN does not want to part with me (or, rather, my money). YOU WILL BE MISSED

Dear Kirill,

We are very sorry to hear that you no longer wish to be a part of ZIN. Because it is our mission to make ZIN Members successful, we would like to share some suggestions before you make your final decision.

It seems like we never have enough time to get everything done. You are not alone. But consider the fact that teaching helps you commit to a workout routine that benefits you and those around you! Even one weekly class is a perfect way to leave the stress behind.

And by taking advantage of the multiple income-generating opportunities, you can increase your profit. You can do this by re-selling Zumbawear^® purchased at a discount rate, or by joining the Zumbawear^® Wholesale Program for an even larger profit margin.

Well the last passage contains something that I actively dislike in Zumba, so it was unlikely to stop me. “Even larger profit margin”? You got to be joking.

Interestingly, they ask you to choose one (and only one) reason for leaving and at least two things that I find useful about ZIN membership (apart from the music and choreo). Fair enough. It’s important to be more positive than negative. Anyway, I already forgot what were those two things I ticked.

My license is valid till the end of the month. After that, don’t even ask me about Zumba classes.

By cancelling your membership, you forfeit the rights granted under the ZIN Membership and License Agreement. Your classes will no longer be posted on zumba.com. You must immediately cease use of the Zumba trademarks, copyrights, logos and other Zumba marketing materials. You may not post promotional Zumba videos online, make commercial use of Zumba Fitness’ original music, or maintain a domain name containing the word Zumba.

As I mentioned before, Zumba Fitness did not invent the word “zumba”. Therefore, their claims on domain names containing this word are groundless. Not that I am going to use their trademarks etc. But I plan to keep this blog where it is. Just as a memento.

MegaMixed bag

OK I have to admit it: MegaMix 35 is not all bad. Reggae-merengue Estoy Enamorao by Colombian Grupo BIP could have been perfect if not for annoying voice distortion. But... Zumbified 99 Luftballons? Seriously?

The best track is Banjaara from the 2012 Bollywood blockbuster Ek Tha Tiger.

MegaMix 35 Song List

1. Estoy Enamorao — Merengue — by Bip
2. Mambo Lives — Mambo *
3. No te Veo (Remix) — Reggaeton * ☙
4. Tu no te Sabe Mover — Dembow — by Eduar2 El Romologo ☙
5. 99 Luftballons — New Wave *
6. Como Le Gusta a tu Cuerpo — Vallenato *
7. Me, Myself, and Music — Club / Dance — by Dahrio Wonder
8. Banjaara — Hindi Pop — by Sukhwinder Singh
9. Si tú Quieres — Techno Merengue — by Fortuna & Fuego
10. Promise — Bachata *

* Covers
◊ Zumba Fitness originals
☙ Spicy Lyrics

Vamo a baila... pero no este

After the brilliant ZIN 43, this one is a let-down. Watching Beto (in pyjamas) and Gina (in some sort of Elastigirl outfit) live in Dublin, I feel nothing but respect... for Tanya. A true artist knows when to stop.

The music, apart from El Gato Boogaloo by Sonora Carruseles and Llora Llora which is a cover of Oscar D’León’s Llorarás, is forgettable. Both live and one-on-one versions of In the Summertime are actually rather funny, in a Muppet Show-ey way. It’s Oh So Quiet is embarrassingly bad. And I am still not sure that three different instructors for one-on-one is such a good idea.

ZIN 44 Song List

1. Meto Mano — Merengue — by Amarfis ☙
2. El Gato Boogaloo — Salsa — by Sonora Carruseles
3. Love Shack — Pop Rock *
4. Vamo a Baila — Calypso / Soca ◊
5. Gimme Five — Batucada / Bachata ◊
6. Llora Llora — Salsaton *
7. In the Summertime — Dancehall *
8. Ritmo Chido y Sabroso — Quebradita / Rock & Roll ◊
9. It’s Oh So Quiet — Jazz

* Covers
◊ Zumba Fitness originals
☙ Spicy Lyrics

MegaMix 34

ZIN MegaMix 34 is full of covers, none of which is better (or significantly worse) than a corresponding original. Among them, ¿Por qué les Mientes? by Tito “El Bambino” El Patrón, Mambo Yo Yo by Ricardo Lemvo and Ain’t Nobody by Hawk Wolinski — or, rather, a cover of Alex Wilson’s salsa version of Ain’t Nobody. The warm-up (?) track The Reckoning, featuring the keyboard sounds last popular in the 1980s, is far too long (by Zumba standards) and repetitive (even by Zumba standards). If you want to incorporate some Latin electronica in your Zumba routine, you’d better check the quality stuff from Novalima or Bajofondo. I am not a big fan of reggaeton, but Rykitona by K.L.C. Clave Cubana is good.

MegaMix 34 Song List

1. The Reckoning — Electronic / Dance — by Salda
2. Yo No Soy un Monstruo — Merengue Electrónico * ☙
3. Ain’t Nobody — Salsa *
4. Siguelo — Reggaeton Pop * ☙
5. Fiesta en América — Latin Pop *
6. ¿Por qué les Mientes? — Cumbia *
7. Rykitona — Reggaeton — by K.L.C. Clave Cubana ☙
8. Mambo Yo Yo — Mambo *
9. Eto eh pa Tuguere — Merengue * ☙
10. Baracundera — Brazilian Ragga / Cooldown ◊

* Covers
◊ Zumba Fitness originals
☙ Spicy Lyrics

I’ll say it anyway

It’s been a while since I enjoyed Zumba’s audiovisual offerings that much. The live-in-Prague class with Donna Giffen and Walter Diaz is good! Their dancing styles are very different and, as with other ZIN double acts, the synchronisation at times is far from perfect. But, for the most part, their choreo is a pleasure to watch. And it is funny (not just fun blast sizzlin’ insert your favourite Zumba cliché here). And where their routines get too complicated or, on the contrary, too repetitive, there Maria Browning picks it up in one-on-one class.

The music... is not bad either. Except for Zumba Loco, but one could guess that much from the title. (Why did they use it as a soundtrack for ZIN 43 Sneak Peek, is anyone’s guess.) I don’t really like synthpop but I have to applaud the Zumba’s take on A-ha’s hit Take on Me — brassy chorus replacing the annoying synth riff of the original, and especially the accelerating samba coda. A thumb or two up.

Song List

1. Tu Boca — Merengue ◊
2. Salsa Choke — Salsa ◊
3. Shant — Bhangra ◊
4. Arremangala Arrempujala — Punta * ☙
5. Take on Me — Batucada / Samba *
6. Quemando Bota — Banda Tribal ◊
7. Zumba Loco — Hip-Hop / Dance ◊
8. Mueve la Pompa — Electro Soca *
9. Llamado de Emergencia — Reggaeton *

* Covers
◊ Zumba Fitness originals
☙ Spicy Lyrics

ZIN 42 and MegaMix 33

In the latest ZIN Newsletter (naturally, not available to general public), it is said that Beto cites ZIN 42 as his favorite ZIN Volume. Really? I can’t believe he meant it. What is there to listen to? Del Puente Pa’ alla is good (even though I still prefer the Grupo Niche version), but the rest? Rumba en Moscú? Sexy and I Know It? Yuck, yuck, yuck three times.

The live class was filmed at the 2012 Zumba Instructor Convention. That could explain... no, it can’t explain anything.

The camerawork is worse than usual, which is already bad enough. There is supposedly stellar (by Zumba standards) crew dancing around Beto but some of them keep disappearing from the frame. I spied one half of ZumbaTwinz and some other people that looked familiar. I liked what the girl with crimson-red hair (sorry don’t know her name) did on Inténtalo. Also, there were some funny steps in the aforementioned Del Puente Pa’ alla, I have to try those. The rest is disposale. And where on earth did Beto find those pants? I couldn’t find the official ZIN 42 sneak peek to illustrate this, maybe they were too embarrassed to release it.

By comparison, MegaMix 33 sounds like a good compilation. My favourite tracks are Medellín Feria de Flores and a cover of Huey Dunbar’s bachata Yo si me Enamoré.

ZIN 42 Song List

1. Pa’ que lo Bailen Bien — Cumbiaton ◊
2. Del Puente Pa’ alla — Salsa *
3. Rumba en Moscú — Russian Folk ◊
4. Inténtalo (Me Prende) — Tribal * ☙
5. Fiesta Buena — Latin Hip-Hop / Dance — by DJ Mam’s teat. Soldat Jahman & Luis Guisao
6. Corazoncito Bonito — Bachata / Merengue ◊
7. Move Ya Body — Hip-Hop * ☙
8. Give It Up — Champeta / Soca ◊
9. Sexy and I Know It — Electro House * ☙

MegaMix 33 Song List

1. La Maldad — Merengue * ☙
2. Medellín Feria de Flores — Salsa *
3. Ella Anda Sola — Reggaeton * ☙
4. Segura Na Cintura — Axé ◊
5. Show You How To Love — Dance (a cappella) — by Pentatonix
6. Dame la Ola — Reggaeton Electrónico * ☙
7. Yo si me Enamoré — Bachata *
8. La Morena — Kuduro — by Vic J feat. Montano
9. Me Enteré — Reggaeton Pop *
10. Dekole — Caribbean Soca Beat — by J Perry (feat. Shabba & Izolan)

* Covers
◊ Zumba Fitness originals
☙ Spicy Lyrics

How do you sing “®”?

The unusual thing about ZIN MegaMix 32 is... absence of any salsa, merengue and cumbia (which, some of you may recall, are three of the four styles they teach at the Zumba^® Basic 1 course). Six out of eleven tracks are “Zumba Fitness originals” of varying quality. (Actually I quite liked Africanisima: it is so different from what Zumba normally sells.) And, apparently, it’s not enough just to put “Zumba” in every song, it must come together with registered trademark symbol. Hence the title Zumba^® Battleship, the yuckiest song of the compilation.

MegaMix 32 Song List

1. Calor — Warm Up *
2. Sueña Desierto Es Carnaval — Latin Pop ◊
3. Toma Reggaeton — Reggaeton ◊ ☙
4. El Tucanazo — Quebradita *
5. Desengonçado — Axé — by Cecéu Muniz
6. Go — Ragga Caribbean ◊
7. Africanisima — African Dance ◊
8. Zumba^® Battleship — Dance / Hip-Hop ◊
9. Luxor Baladna — Belly Dance — by Movses Panossian
10. Ojos Negros — Middle Eastern Pop ◊
11. Seasons of Love — Musical Theater *

* Covers
◊ Zumba Fitness originals
☙ Spicy Lyrics

What are we gonna do with it?

In the unlikely event that you are following this blog, you could have noticed that I am not a big fan of Zumba-ing double acts. Now imagine how happy I was receiving ZIN 41 and watching another live class. With another double act. Mind you, in some respects it’s very different from Tanya and Gina, Lindsey and Kass, or Zumbatwinz for that matter. Most importantly, Betsy Dopico totally out-dances her co-presenter Ricardo Marmitte. One-on-one class with Donna Giffen is all right. I quite like her way of building up the routine, it is just that the music, once again, fails to inspire.

No bhangra, flamenco or samba. Doesn’t matter, I gave up on the music from ZIN long time ago. But... as funny as it sounds, my favourite choreo on the DVD is the one for Now That We Found Love, a cover of the most ridiculous cover I ever heard.

Song List

1. Mueve ese Eskeleto — Electro Merengue — by Fulanito ☙
2. Pretenciosa — Salsa ◊
3. Me Gustan Todas — Techno Cumbia * ☙
4. Pose — Reggaeton * ☙
5. Now That We Found Love — Disco Rap *
6. Mereketengue — Pasito Duranguense ◊
7. Bem Vindos — Funk ◊
8. Taca Taca — Merengue / Calypso *
9. Como un Angel — Reggaeton Pop — by Zulayka ☙

* Covers
◊ Zumba Fitness originals
☙ Spicy Lyrics

I prefer Gangnam Style

The latest ZIN offering is, as per usual, not especially good, not especially bad, not especially fresh. All standard Zumba fare except maybe covers of Chic’s Le Freak (which was big in 1978 and ever since) and Rihanna’s We Found Love (which by now everybody should be thoroughly sick of).

Forget Zumba for a moment (or longer). This weekend (better late than never), I discovered Gangnam Style by Korean rapper Psy — apparently, the most “liked” video on YouTube. And I can see why.

MegaMix 31 Song List

1. We Found Love — ElectroPop / Warm Up *
2. El Lapicero — Merengue — by Raul Acosta & Manikkomio ☙
3. Al Son De Los Cueros — Salsa — by Sonora Carruseles
4. La Cumbia Tribalera — Tribal * ☙
5. Ahora Es — Reggaeton * ☙
6. Agachadita — Cumbia * ☙
7. Danca Da Cordinha — Samba / Axé *
8. Le Freak — Disco *
9. Trikitrikitran — Rumba Flamenca — by Mayka
10. Las Cosas Pequeñas — Bachata *

* Covers
☙ Spicy Lyrics

Getting nasty?

A live class without Beto, Tanya or Gina: now that sounds like a good idea. Long overdue, I say. But the implementation? A class with Lindsey Taylor and Kass Martin on ZIN 40: it is just like the class with Tanya and Gina. Except without Tanya and Gina.

What’s the point of having two instructors anyway? Even though each of them quite obviously can dance, poor synchronisation makes the whole show appear messy. When Beto dances together with two/four/more other instructors... well, they may be not that well synchronised either, but at least you know who to look at for “master” routine. Here it is just not the case. (Can we have a class with Zumbatwinz next time?) And another thing: the students surely are not supposed to repeat that floor body wave. What’s this showing off for?

In One-on-One, Michael Thomas shows some interesting moves, but somehow none of his routines makes a convincing whole. The only song/choreo from this DVD I would like to try is Coisa Brasileira from the live class. That’s 1—0 Two Ladies vs One Guy.

A new feature: now songs with “spicy lyrics” are indicated with a little chilli pepper icon. So that you know.

Song List

1. Me Va Quema el Celular — Merengue * ☙
2. Vamos Pa’ La Pista — Salsa ◊
3. La Suavecita — Cumbia / Reggaeton * ☙
4. Fuera de Control — Reggaeton — by K.L.C. Clave Cubana ☙
5. Maria — Rumba Flamenca ◊
6. Getting Nasty — Techno Dance — by KCB ft. Lady Lauryn ☙
7. Coisa Brasileira — Axé / Capoeira ◊
8. Ponte los Tenis — Electro Merengue ◊
9. Come On Eileen — Ska Punk * ☙

* Covers
◊ Zumba Fitness originals
☙ Spicy Lyrics

Feel Alright

Sometimes I wonder, should I even bother? (Writing about monthly ZIN releases, that is.)

Or shall I put it the other way: sometimes they wonder, should they even bother? (Compiling their monthly offerings, that is.)

Truth to be told, I found ZIN MegaMix 30 rather... listenable. I did not care much about Buraku and That’s Not My Name though. Nothing fantastic or even remotely original, but all in all... it feels alright.

Song List

1. Apache (Warrior One Remix) — Warm-up *
2. Torero — Latin Pop *
3. Que Cosa Tan Linda — Salsa *
4. Fever — Reggaeton *
5. Buraku — Caribbean Hip-Hop — by K-liber4life
6. Mis Ojos Lloran por Ti — Quebradita *
7. El Baile de las Cocoteras — Cumbia *
8. That’s Not My Name — Punk Pop *
9. Verano Sólido — Merengue *
10. Feel Alright — Tropical / Pop ◊

* Covers
◊ Zumba Fitness originals

Now he raps too

I will be honest with you: I’ve seen worse than ZIN 39. Sure, the music is, to put it mildly, not the best — and not very diverse, even by Zumba standards. (Do we need that much electro merengue?) The only happy exception is Indian Moonshine, where I liked both live class and one-on-one versions. But it is nice to see Beto in good form and enthusiastic about the whole thing again, perhaps for the first time since ZIN 33 (and that was published a year ago! Incidentally, that was the first ZIN volume I have received, and the most last useful one.)

I like the new one-on-one format, presented here by ZES Steve Boedt. The breakdown of steps now goes on top of (rather than before) the demonstration. On the other hand, after hearing it once, you may want to switch the commentary off — and you can!

There are three bonus videos on the DVD: Baila mi Son by Ensamble, Crazy Love featuring Mara and not particularly good rap from Beto, and Sweet Girl by Zumba Fitness. (For the last time: there is no such artist as Zumba Fitness. Why would anybody call oneself after a fitness company?) As is the case with most of bonus material, it is completely disposable.

Song List

1. Pégate Más – Electro Merengue *
2. Sweet Girl – Merengue House ◊
3. Baila mi Son – Salsa – by Ensamble
4. El Rey – Cumbia *
5. El Jefe — Latin Hip-Hop *
6. Ella me Copia – Techno Bachata / Rumba Flamenca ◊
7. Indian Moonshine – Bhangra Folk Fusion ◊
8. Party Rock Anthem – Electro House *
9. Dueño de Nada – Urban Merengue – by Mara
10. Crazy Love – Electro Merengue – by Mara

* Covers
◊ Zumba Fitness originals

Big Dance Video and MegaMix 29

OK people, if you haven’t seen it already... you didn’t miss much. Here’s the official top secret song and Zumba^® choreography for the UK Big Dance Week 2012: Es Tiempo De Bailar. Why did they make this video “unlisted”, I know not. The song is thoroughly boring (at just over four minutes, sounds like eternity to me), the choreography... As Beto didn’t even break a sweat (see, his top is still on), I figure he is dead bored too. Big yawn.

As for MegaMix 29: actually, on the second listening, it’s not as bad as the previous compilation. (Then again, should one even attempt to replicate that?) It is worth keeping for De Una Vez Gozando by Sonora Carruseles alone. Then I really liked the cover of Gabriel Romero’s La Subienda. But the rest?

Merengue El Pollo is one of those patience-testing songs: they really should try and change a chord once in a while. Reggaeton Latino may have been Don Omar’s major hit back in 2005. Now it sounds terribly dated. Frankly, it never was that good in the first place. And, with all respect to Dido, what Thank You has to do with Zumba? (Just checking, I know the answer. Zumba wants to become even more mainstream by catering for those who does not listen to Latin, African or Asian music... basically anything that is not sung in English.)

Song List

1. Anderlecht Champion (Euro 2000 Olé Olé Olé mix) — Warm Up — by Eurostars
2. El Pollo — Merengue — by Amarfis y la Banda de Atakke
3. Mete Bronca — Axé — by Ceceu Muniz
4. La Subienda — Cumbia *
5. Hybrid — Caribbean Hip-Hop — by K-liber4life
6. El Party — Merengue House — by Proyecto Uno
7. Reggaeton Latino — Reggaeton — by Don Omar
8. De Una Vez Gozando — Salsa — by Sonora Carruseles
9. The Sign — Pop *
10. Thank You — Cool Down *

* Covers

Wish you weren’t here

The brand new ZIN newsletter (April 2012) says:

First Zumba^® Instructor Conference Is a Worldwide Hit!

Top-notch media from all over the world traveled to London, England in February to visit the first-ever Zumba^® Instructor Conference. Reporters were blown away by the passion and off-the-charts energy of our instructors.

And what could be the best way to commemorate this historic event? Two scenarios spring to mind.

• The truly cunning: to present the highlights of the Conference in such a way that anybody (both attendees and those who did not find either time or money to go there) would not just think that it was half grand well spent, but also ready to part with such (or larger) sum come the next conference.
• The really nice: to give back something useful to ZINs whose hard-earned cash made this conference possible in the first place. (But frankly, I wouldn’t put much money on it).

Guess what? Neither of these. Instead, we are sent just another £@€%!#$ CD/DVD set.

On ZIN 38, the music keeps hitting new lows, what with annoying trademarking, imaginative lyrics like “Dancing the salsa, Zumba te llama” (Dancing Salsa), misinformation (Zumba Time!! is not a calypso) and even a house song. And did anyone notice the small print on the disc:

All songs PPL & PPCA free except track #6.

That’s new. I just checked all ZIN CDs and DVDs I have: none of them has exceptions like this. I don’t care much about Pitbull’s song but this sets an unpleasant precedent. After all, thousands of instructors are using Zumba’s covers or even so-called “originals” instead of the real thing precisely because they are free to use without paying additional licenses.

On DVD: another masterclass by Beto, no better (to put it mildly) than Beto’s classes from the times when ZIN volume numbers were in their twenties and the man himself still did care about stuff. The choreography is rather tired, with the only exception of The Trip. Wait a minute. Is this really Beto or his avatar from Zumba Fitness Rush?

Another novelty is that there are three different instructors in one-on-one class, each presenting three songs. This may be not a bad thing, considering that you are bound to dislike at least one of them. As an icing on the cake, we are reminded that we are not supposed to break down the steps for the class. Nice.

Song List

1. Bunda — Merengue — by Watatah
2. Dancing Salsa — Salsa ◊
3. The Trip — Arabian Reggaeton *
4. Loco — Cumbia ◊
5. Eva Maria — Quebradita *
6. Hey Baby (Drop It to the Floor) — Hip House — by Pitbull feat T-Pain
7. Zumba Time!! — Calypso — by Watatah
8. Balans — Caribbean Hip-Hop — by K-Liber4life
9. Stereo Love — House *

* Covers
◊ Zumba Fitness originals

Un año después

One year ago to the day, I qualified as a Zumba Fitness instructor and joined ZIN. Like many other things, this happened by accident. For a couple of months, I was entertaining the idea of becoming Zumba instructor while still in the UK (the plan to move here was around for much longer). However, according to the Zumba website, there were no Zumba Basic training anywhere close to Cambridge. In February, I was visiting the USA and came back to England for a few days before flying to Fuerte. Out of curiosity, I went to check the Zumba web again. And behold, a miracle! There were places for training in Peterborough on 15 April. So I went ahead and booked my place. As soon as I did that, the Zumba web site was showing the same course as “sold out”. Maybe there was just one place available, the cancellation or something.

The training, with Naomi Mokoena and Natalia Bull, was great. By the end of day I was thoroughly exhausted and just wanted to lay down. The rest... well, is not history yet, but it is covered in this blog in reasonable detail.

All in all, it was a rewarding thing to do, if not financially, then as an experience. How long will I stay with ZIN and give Zumba classes, is another matter. Check this space one year later.

Thank you Tamara Kulikova and Luisa Curbelo: I would never go that far without your support.

Now this is what I call ZIN 37

Check it out: live class with Beto. Cardio party with Beto, Tanya and Gina. Beto. Beto. Tanya. Live class with Beto, one-on-one with Gina. Beto. You get the idea. Tanya, with guest appearance of Beto. Beto with some guys. Beto again. And now, ladies and gentlemen... Tanya and Gina. Why am I not so thrilled? I’ll tell you why.

But first, I have to declare that I may be prejudiced. I heard a lot of (mostly negative) opinions about ZIN 37 long before I started to worry whether my own copy was lost in transit. Which seems to be the case. Finally, when the MegaMix 28 arrived, I sent a note to Zumba Home Office and, to their credit, they sent me a replacement copy pronto. After watching it, I almost regretted troubling them. It was so not worth waiting for.

Remember the worst ZIN MegaMix you ever heard? I promise, music-wise ZIN 37 is even worse. The live class in Frankfurt is... to say “disappointing” would be an understatement. The dance routines feature a lot of clapping, apparently designed both to work the class into frenzy and enliven the dull choreography. When Tanya and Gina appear together on the stage, the choreo does not seem to be well coordinated between the two. It is embarrassing to listen, embarrassing to watch. It must be embarrassing squared to dance to it — not that I tried. How does it feel to teach this?

One-on-one class with Lindsey Taylor is more watchable (as far as the annoying distorted-honeycomb background allows) and the choreo looks more interesting. But it cannot save the sheer awfulness of the music.

Song List

1. If You Wanna Dance — Techno Cumbia ◊
2. Hasta Que Se Rompa el Cuero — Salsa *
3. La Bomba — Merengue / Techno Cumbia ◊
4. In a Search — Reggaeton — by Obie P
5. Mr. Saxobeat — Eurodance *
6. Vino Tinto — Rumba Flamenca / Pop
7. Sexy Movimiento — Electronic / Reggaeton *
8. Asi Te Quiero Ver — Merengue — by Fulanito
9. Quiebra — Quebradita ◊

* Covers
◊ Zumba Fitness originals

MegaMix 28

If you (like myself) thought that MegaMix 27 was bad, what can be said about the latest compilation? MegaBad? Don’t you feel sick of another axé by Ceceu Muniz, another rumba flamenca by Bandoleros? Apart from Nachde Ne Saare, absolutely nothing, I repeat, nothing of interest.

One would think that with so many new ZIN members paying their licence fees, ZIN should have enough money to bring us some decent music. Instead, they send something that I wouldn’t bother downloading for free.

Song List

1. Merengue con Letra — Merengue *
2. Barranquillero Arrebatao — Salsa *
3. Lovumba — Electroflow / Reggaeton *
4. Todo Duro — Axé — by Ceceu Muniz
5. Rumbatone — Rumba Flamenca / Reggaeton — by Bandoleros
6. I Wanna Go — Dance pop *
7. Baile Privado — Urban Merengue *
8. Ay Mami — Socaton *
9. Nachde Ne Saare — Punjabi — by Devender Khannewala
10. A Heart That’s Full of Love — Acoustic Pop ◊

* Covers
◊ Zumba Fitness originals